Living the Dream without Breaking the Bank

John_Robinson-(What Stops People From Living Their Dream?)

Ed note: John Robinson is one of 6 ‘Retirement Experts’ who are interviewed for the series “Living the Dream Without Breaking the Bank”. Listen to an excerpt of John and the other interviews:

The new aging has given us 15-20 more years of life. What shall we do with this extra time? The answer is to express the gifts hidden in our dream. What have you wanted to do all your life? Find it and do it now.

Here is a list of things to think about. Put stars by any items that hit home for you.

What is the dream?

• We come into the world bearing gifts of the true self. It’s the ego’s job to discover, develop and share those gifts. This is where our happiness and creativity dwell.

• You gifts come from who you really are. Find that person, and you’ll find your gold.

Why pursue your dream?

• It’s the reason you were born!

• It’s the greatest source of joy and creativity

• It’s your gift to the world

How do we find our dream?

• We find it by getting to know ourselves, e.g. through the joys and disappointments of life. Ask yourself when was the happiest time in my life, the most excited time, or the biggest disappointment, what jobs you loved most, what classes were the most exciting in school

• Ask yourself who your heroes are and why – what do they represent?

• Ask yourself if you were an animal which one would you be?

• What is a recurring daydream for you?

• If you were released from all responsibility, what would you do?

• If you were to play as a child, in pure innocence, what would you do?

• Ask friends and family what your gifts and talents are – we often dismiss things we take for granted.

• We find them in our temperament – learn about your temperament (For example, the MBTI: I vs. E, S vs. N, T v. F, J v. P)

What stops people from living their dream? It’s all the usual suspects

• You don’t know what it is.

• You have wrong ideas about what a dream should be – like being famous or rich

• You are already living somebody else’s dream (not a good path)

• You don’t have enough self-confidence (don’t ever be afraid to dream big but don’t make big your criteria for success)

• You are afraid to fail – what’s wrong with failing?

• You set your goals way too high

• You have a generalized negativity toward yourself – finding fault with everything they want

• You cover up the dream with compulsive busyness

• It may not be the culturally-approved dream so you fear it’s wrong (e.g., world travel, golf, etc.)

• It may not be your spouse’s dream so you’re afraid to risk conflict

• You use finances as an excuse not to risk anything – why do you even have to make money form it

What you can do

• Talk about what you love with people you feel are safe and supportive

• Write a list of dreams without censoring – make it long, then put 1-3 stars by how exciting item makes you feel.

• Join groups of people with similar interests – the sharing should stimulate you

• Start small – no risk – and see if the energy is really there

• Visualize yourself doing exactly what you love and doing it well

• Trust yourself – you are enough, you have all you need, you just need to water your gifts with loving attention, support and learning – and remember the person whose love you need most is you.

• There’s a book by Marsha Sinetar called “Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow” – a good theme

What to avoid doing

• Avoid negativity

• Avoid premature closure

• Avoid sharing with critical friends and family

John is one of the interviewees in Living the Dream Audio Series. Hear him and learn more about how you can Live the Retirement Dream.

 

Living the Dream

About John Robinson, Ph.D., D.Min.

John Robinson is a clinical psychologist with a second doctorate in ministry, ordained interfaith minister, author, husband and father. He started writing books about psychology and spirituality at midlife and couldn’t stop. For more information, visit his website at John Robinson

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